How to Help: Steps to Bully Proof Your Child

Teach your child self-respect

Confident children are less likely to become victims. Teach your child how to use "self talk," which is a silent pep talk one can use when feeling picked on. The child should select something good about him- or herself and think about that during difficult moments.

Encourage friendships

There is strength in numbers. Encourage your child to walk down the hall, into the lunchroom, or out to recess with others. Bullies will quickly target a child who is alone. Your child should stay near others even if they are not close friends. Better yet, your child should make close friends and the children should protect one another.

Teach your child effective skills for making friends

Skills for making friends include how to share, compromise, change the topic to avoid conflict, apologize when appropriate, and use a diplomatic approach.

Build social skills

Problem-solve difficult social situations and practice diplomatic responses during the dinner hour. Something that has been practiced is easier to use when a difficult moment arises. Social skill groups are available in many schools today and books for both parents and children can be found in local libraries, and bookstores.

Stress the importance of body language

A submissive or victim stance may attract bullies. Your child should not have an intimidated, slouched appearance. Encourage your child to stand up straight and hold his or her head high. If a bully approaches, your child shouldn't freeze. It is best to walk away and join a group of children.

Do not encourage physically attacking the bully

Bullies are usually stronger or have better social-networking skills than their victims. More often than not, attacking bullies will provoke them to take revenge.

Let the school know your safety worries

Talk to the principal and teachers about your concerns.

Teach your child protective strategies

The following six strategies can help your child with bullies: Help, Assert yourself, Humor, Avoid, Self talk, Own it. These six strategies are easily remembered by children with the phrase "HA HA SO." Children are encouraged to imagine an invisible shield that drops over them with the letters HA HA SO on the shield. They can use these protective strategies and one or more can be chosen during a bullying situation.

H - Help. Get help. Find a friend or adult you can count on.

A - Assert yourself. Use an "I" statement to protect yourself. Say something like, "I like being different" or "I am sorry you don't want to get to know me better before you call me that."

H - Humor. Use humor. Do or say something funny or even something just plain outrageous to throw the bully off balance. For example, if called a "chicken," start walking like a chicken and flapping your arms.

A - Avoid. Stay away from bullies. If you notice a bully and can take another path across the playground, do that.

S - Self talk. Give yourself a silent pep talk, reminding yourself of positive things. For     example, you might think of something like, "I may not be good at track, but I'm proud of how I play the clarinet."

O -Own it. If the put-down is about clothing or something you can change, just agree with the bully. Say something like, "Yeah, I don't like this sweater either. It sure is ugly, but I wore it because my aunt made it and she is visiting this week." (Caution your child not to use this technique for something inherent to the child, such as skin color or ethnic group.) If the put-down is about something you can't or don't want to change, hold your head high, own who you are with pride, and tell the other child you like being who you are.

             www.parenting.org

posted by: jil0504 at 12:01 | link | comments |

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Teaching Values To Our Children

As parents, we want our children to be honest, decent, caring individuals. Simply hoping our children will naturally acquire these skills is not enough. They must see what it means to be honest, courteous and generous. Afterall, children learn what they live.

You are the best person in your child's life to teach values and model positive behavior. Here are a few everyday situations that provide opportunities to shape your child's character.

    * Household chores - If you ask your child to perform certain household duties such as taking out the trash or cleaning his or her bedroom, show your child how to do it (the behavioral steps) and clearly explain your expectations. When children know how to complete a task and take care of their personal belongings, they learn what it means to act responsibly.

    * Nightly homework - Study time at home should be part of your child's weekly routine. Set clear expectations for completing homework (assignments must be done before watching TV or playing a game). When children do what they are supposed to do, even when they don't feel like doing it, they develop character.

    * Meal time - Sitting around the dining table should involve much more than breaking bread. Whether you're reminiscing about your youth or your child is discussing the events of the day, family "table talk" is for sharing and relationship building. You'll be surprised at how many of the stories serve as metaphors about values, discipline and character. Point those lessons out to your children so they can relate true-life events to those abstract ideals.

As you see, the everyday moments of life offer opportunities for us to teach children positive values. However, all the teaching in the world can be undone if our kids watch us behave in ways that contradict everything we've said. If you want your children to learn honesty and sincerity, then be truthful and act kindly.
    
Source: Parenting

** This is an interesting article because it is all about how to teach your children a proper VALUES. It is necessary nowadays to teach our children about this so that they will be knowledgeable in all things. They must know the household chores so that they can help us in cleaning the house. We must also teach them that they have to study because it is their responsibility as a student. As a parents, we must teach them so that they will know how to apply Values in their lives. **

posted by: jil0504 at 15:51 | link | comments |

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posted by: jil0504 at 15:45 | link | comments |

Surviving Each Day as a Mother Working Outside the Home

# Look for a supportive employer and workplace

Being a mother who is working outside the home can be harder and more stressful than being a mother who stays home because your other responsibilities are never completely filled by other people. To lessen the burden, consider working only part-time if it's financially acceptable. Perhaps you can share a job with another person, so that each of you works 20 hours a week. Or perhaps your employer will allow you to have a flexible schedule or to work at least some of the time in your home.

# Avoid fatigue

If you don't get enough sleep, nothing will seem to turn out right. Pick a reasonable bedtime and stay with it. Cut corners in other areas but protect your sleep time.

# Provide contact time with your child

Research has shown that both the quality and quantity of time you spend with your child are important. Try to make breakfast a pleasant, unhurried occasion. Try to talk with your child during the commute to and from the child care provider. Use the 30 minutes before bedtime to discuss the day's events with your child at your child's pace. Set aside special half-days on weekends to do things with your child. Also remember that including your child in adult activities such as shopping, cooking, washing, and home repair is also quality time. You are providing enough input if your child is usually happy.

# Reduce your housework time

If you can afford it, hire a housekeeper. In any case, try to simplify your home life. A spotless house must become a low priority. Do less cooking; make triple recipes and freeze leftovers. In addition, make a date for a night out with your spouse or a friend at least once a week; relaxation time is essential, not frivolous or wasteful.

# Ask other family members for help

It is imperative that spouses participate in the housework and child care. Responsibility for these tasks must be redistributed to prevent the mother from becoming overworked. For example, the father can help buy a son's clothing, take the children places, cook, and clean the house. School-age children can also be assigned some chores.

# Watch out for feelings of guilt

Try to understand that "Supermom" is a myth. You can't do everything singlehandedly or perfectly. You need help and deserve help. If you have found a good child care provider, you should feel comfortable during the day about your child's well-being. Despite your best efforts, your child will sometimes cry when dropped off at day care and will sometimes become sick. Try not to rethink your career decision every time this happens.

# Find extra help if you are a single parent

Try to find a friend with a child close in age to yours. Share shopping, overnight and weekend visits, baby-sitting, and other responsibilities with your friend. Trading services in this way will save you money. Living with another single mother may be mutually beneficial. Consider joining an organization for single parents.

posted by: jil0504 at 14:43 | link | comments |

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Video Games

Home video games are extremely popular in this country. Over one third of American homes have computerized game systems connected to the television. With hundreds of selections available, video games are currently the most popular toy in our country. Portable video games are the latest option. Every day the number of 6- to 16-year-olds playing video games increases.

Video Games Versus Television

Compared to watching television, video games are a better form of entertainment because they are interactive. Your child's mind has to be turned on and working. The following are some potential benefits of playing video games.

• They promote attention to details (such as clues), memorizing, sequencing and using strategies.
  
• They promote eye-hand (visual motor) coordination.
  
• They improve visual perception (spatial awareness).
  
• They allow use of imagination.
  
• They provide entertainment children and adults can share.
  

Disadvantages of Video Games

The drawbacks of playing video games are similar to those of watching TV:

• If allowed to dominate your child's leisure and study time, video games can decrease development of skills in sports, music and art. Performance in school can be affected if reading and homework are neglected.
  
  
• If pursued as a solitary activity, playing video games can decrease important social interactions with family and friends. A child's interactions with friends may become limited to pumping them for information about hidden passageways and secret doors. Encourage your child to play video games with others.
  
  
• Violent games can teach acceptance of violent behavior in real life.
  

You need to be concerned if your child's grades fall, if he doesn't do his homework, if he doesn't get enough sleep, if he doesn't play outdoors, if he becomes a loner, or if he seems preoccupied with aggressive behavior as seen in a video game.

Take A Stand on Video Games

Don't expect your child to set his own limits on the amount of time he spends with this bewitching form of entertainment. You are responsible for your child's well-being and must set appropriate limits for him. If the rules are broken, deny your child access to the game for a day or more. Insist that homework and chores be completed before your child can play video games. Game time can even be used as an incentive for finishing these tasks properly.

• Limit video game time.
  
  Two hours a day or less is a reasonable limit. Or allow an hour of play on school nights and two or three hours a day on weekends. Some parents allow the video games only on weekends. If your child is doing poorly in school, temporarily eliminate video game time on school nights. Some parents allow their children to earn video game time by putting in equivalent reading time.
  
  
• Don't allow your child to postpone bedtime because he wants to finish a video game.
  
  Remember that children who stay up late are usually too tired the next day to remember what they are taught in school. Don't allow your child to have a video game set in his bedroom, because this eliminates your control over time spent playing. When bedtime is drawing near, give your child a 10-minute warning.
  
  
• Encourage your children to settle their own disputes over using the video game.
  
  Try to stay out of disagreements, as long as they remain verbal. Children can't go through life having a referee to resolve their differences. If the dispute becomes too loud, remove the game until your children work out a solution.
  
  
• Help your child choose video games that are not excessively violent.
  
  Encourage your child to buy or rent sports, puzzle, maze, or adventure games. Avoid games that contain lots of murder, combat and destruction. Research suggests that video games encourage more aggressive behavior than violent TV shows because your child is an active participant in the destruction and not just an observer. If your child borrows or rents a new game, insist on approving its contents before he uses it.
  
  
• If you own a computer, take advantage of some of the educational games available.
  
  Educational computer games tap the motivational power of arcade games and help your child learn. They combine academics and entertainment, and also teach computer skills. If you have a choice, buy computer games instead of video games.
  
  
• Try to channel your child's leisure time into a variety of activities.
  
  Video games are not bad for children. They can teach certain skills and they are more educational than watching TV. If you try to forbid video games, your child will play them at an arcade or a friend's home. So teach your child to play them in moderation after the first weeks of normal infatuation pass. Encourage reading, music, hobbies, sports and playing with friends as well.

posted by: jil0504 at 14:18 | link | comments |

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posted by: jil0504 at 14:15 | link | comments |

Child Care Resources

• Types of child care
  
  Several types of child care are available in most communities. During the first 2 years of life, children often do better with individual care or family day care because they need more cuddling and personal attention. The types of child care arrangements are (in descending order of preference for younger infants):
  
  
  • Individual care in your own home
    
    This is the preferred arrangement for infants. The care is usually provided by a grandmother or professional sitter. Often you will need to advertise for a sitter in the local newspaper. The applicant's references must be carefully checked, especially for characteristics that are important to you. Most professional sitters will stay in your home just while you are gone, but some are available as live-ins (nannies).
    
    
  • Individual care in someone else's home
    
    This arrangement is very similar to the previous one except that your child will not have the benefit of being cared for in his or her own home. In addition, you will need to pack diapers, bottles, and toys, as well as transport your child to the sitter's home.
    
    
  • Family day care homes
    
    In these settings, the day care provider cares for two to six children in his/her home. This type of day care is usually less expensive than center-based care. Disadvantages are that the children do not usually receive as much individual attention as when they are the only child, and many of these homes are not licensed or monitored by the state.
    
    
  • Center-based day care
    
    A day care center may care for 30 or more children. Many children do not adapt well to these large centers until they are over 2 or 2-and-1/2 years old. Optimally, day care centers are located at the workplace, but this is uncommon in the U.S. Day care centers are state-licensed and must comply with certain standards. If you are looking for a day care center, assemble a list of centers by asking friends or by looking in the Yellow Pages under "Child Care" or "Day Nurseries and Child Care." Don't make your final decision about a child care center until you have visited it and observed for at least half a day.
    
    
• The substitute caregiver: Choosing the right person
  
  The most important factor in choosing a child care resource is finding a day care provider who understands and meets children's emotional needs. Choose someone who is warm, affectionate, and sympathetic; plays with the children; and has a sense of humor. Look for someone who listens to and complies with your style of child-rearing (for example, methods of discipline or toilet training). Form a close partnership with your child's caregiver.
  
  
• Helping your child adjust to day care
  
  When you take your child to day care for the first day, plan on spending that day there. Let your child gradually reach out and become involved with the other children and the caregiver(s). On the second day, stay 5 or 10 minutes while your child makes the transition to interacting with the day care provider. If possible, leave a familiar toy or security object with your child. If the day care center is near your workplace, visit your child during the day. When you leave your child, do so with a cheerful attitude and let your child know you are leaving--don't sneak away.

  Don't be surprised if your child is teary on the first days when you leave the day care provider. For the first week, your child may talk about not wanting to return. Remain firm in your decision and your child will gradually adapt to the change. Some children take as long as one or two months to adapt fully.

• Caring for a sick child
  
  The onset of illness can be a major disruption for the mother working outside the home. Many day care homes and centers will not care for sick children. Your options usually are staying home with your child, having your spouse take time off from work and stay home with your child, or having your child stay with a friend or relative who has agreed in advance to be a backup for illness care. Sick-care programs for children are springing up across the U.S. to help working parents deal with this situation. Many of these services are based in a special sick wing of a large day care center or a hospital. Some agencies offer sick-care baby sitters who will come to your home.

  If your child becomes sick during the working day and you think he needs to see a physician, try to arrange for a late-afternoon appointment by calling before p.m.

  Children with a sore throat, moderate cough, runny nose, or cold symptoms (but without a fever or breathing difficulties) can usually stay in or return to day care. The decision should be based mainly on how well your child feels. Children with fevers (over 100 degrees F, or 37.8 degrees C), chickenpox, vomiting, or diarrhea cannot stay in a regular day care setting. Children with a strep throat or an eye infection can usually return after 24 hours on an antibiotic. Many child care centers have their own rules about when a sick child must stay at home. You should become familiar with these rules.

posted by: jil0504 at 13:57 | link | comments |

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What is a Onesie?

        A onesie is a one-piece, t-shirt-like baby garment that has snaps at the crotch to keep it from riding up and exposing the baby's tummy. Onesies are also called bodysuits. The term "onesie" is most often used to describe a short-sleeved bodysuit that does not cover the baby's legs, but it also can refer to versions with long sleeves and long legs. Onesies can be used as a complete outfit, as a t-shirt, or as an undergarment. Onesies range in style from simple, white, undergarment versions to colorful, patterned and embroidered types.

    A onesie is a one-piece baby garment that resembles a t-shirt and has snaps at the crotch.

    www.about.com

posted by: jil0504 at 13:07 | link | comments |

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posted by: jil0504 at 11:41 | link | comments |

Advice for the Mother Working Outside the Home

The Decision to Work

• Reasons for working
  
  More than 50 percent of mothers with infants or preschoolers work outside the home. The main reason for working is financial need. Some mothers return to work because they enjoy it or need to stay up-to-date in a fast-changing career.

  The questi